When Every September Feels Like a New Job: Why School Transitions Are Tough on Kids

What if, every year, you faced a complete workplace overhaul – new office, new colleagues, a new job description, and a new boss with an entirely different way of working?

Some of us would welcome the adventure – fresh challenges, constant learning, never a dull moment. Others might enjoy parts of it – perhaps the new boss but not the office move, or the chance to work with different colleagues but not the change in expectations. And some would find the whole thing unsettling, exhausting, even frightening.

For many children, this isn’t a thought experiment – it’s the reality of starting a new school year. Each September, they enter a new classroom, meet a different teacher, adjust to fresh rules and expectations (last year’s teacher wanted neat handwriting, this year’s prizes speed and independence), and watch their friendship groups shift yet again.

As a child, I had relative stability – one class per year group at primary school, and in secondary we stayed with the same classmates for four years. That predictability was grounding. Even with that, it was still a LOT of change to handle.

One of my own children shows me, year after year, just how much work these transitions demand. No matter how much I know as a parent and professional, the first term always involves them sussing out the new teacher: What are the rules here? What matters most? How flexible are they? It’s like learning to work under a new boss – testing boundaries, decoding expectations, figuring out the unspoken rules. And what can look like resistance or “bad behaviour” is often just the hard work of adjustment.

This perspective helps me – and the parents I support – remember that behaviour is communication. A meltdown, reluctance, or sudden shift in attitude isn’t usually defiance. More often, it’s stress, uncertainty, or simply the mental load of navigating change.

As adults, if we were handed a new job every September, we’d expect orientation, training, and empathy. Shouldn’t our children receive the same understanding when they’re thrown into their new “workplace”? School transitions can be TOUGH!

So, this September, there are 2 options for you to get more support. (if you're reading this after September, get in touch - I'd love to chat about your needs.

• The ADHD parenting collective, starting 26 September, still has spaces available. Sign up here and learn a new way to handle the waves! 

• Workshop for Sprint France on Positive Parenting Tools: 19 September @13h30, 5€, In person in the 15th: Every child deserves understanding, and every parent deserves support. In this session, you’ll discover practical Positive Discipline strategies, adapted for children with additional needs. Come away with ideas that help your family feel more confident, connected, and less caught in power struggles. More details

• Coming in October: Positive Discipline parenting series, in French, in Asnieres. Message me if you'd like to know more.