Surviving the Christmas Holidays: Five Parenting Tools That Actually Make December Easier

“Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.” — Peg Bracken

Christmas can be magical — twinkly lights, warm drinks, time with family, a break from the school sprint. And yet… it can also be a melting pot of overtired children, overstretched parents, disrupted routines, and wildly different expectations held by different adults.

As a parenting coach (and a mum of three), I’ve seen the full range: the joyful, the chaotic, the overstimulated, the hilarious, and the “please can everyone just stop talking for one minute?”

Here are the five tools I come back to every single year — the ones that reliably make our holidays calmer, kinder, and more connected.

1. The Pre-Holiday Family Meeting

This is your anchor. Ten minutes. Everyone present, even the littlest. Ask three simple questions:

• What would make this holiday lovely for you?

• What do you need to feel calm and happy?

• What might be tricky?

  
  

You might want to consider including relatives or travel companions, or thinking about different needs for different houses (if you are travelling to multiple locations). If you do get others involved (beyond your immediate family), you might like to ask them: “What are your expectations? What’s important for you this year?” Clarity now saves conflict later. But don't be surprised if your relatives look at you a bit strangely - not everyone's used to family meetings, or asking kids what they want or need!

2. Make Agreements (Not Rules)

Agreements are collaborative, respectful, and rooted in “How can we make this work for all of us?”

Examples:

• Screen time: when and how much

• Morning rhythm: pyjamas until 10 ok, but who makes breakfast?

• Tidying shared spaces

• Visitors or playdates

• Quiet time

• Grown-up recharge time - believe me - this one is CRITICAL!

Predictability helps everyone’s brain feel calmer.

3. Plan for Everyone’s Needs

Including yours. Especially yours.

The emotional and logistical load of December can be huge. List each person’s needs:

• Sensory breaks

• Movement

• Alone time

• Social time

• Rest

• Outdoor time

• Foods or routines that matter

  
  

4. Plan for When Things Go Wrong

They will. And that’s fine. Pick a “pivot plan”:

• A pause code word

• Five-minute reset routine

• Swapping who’s on duty

• Dropping a plan guilt-free

• Tea and a breath

Flexibility = sanity.

5. Aim for Connection, Not Perfection

You don’t need the perfect holiday. You need a holiday where you can actually look at your children, breathe, and enjoy them. Connection is created in tiny moments: reading, cooking together, walks, laughing at mishaps.

With a bit of planning — and a lot of flexibility — December can feel less like a marathon and more like a gentle (if slightly sparkly) stroll.

If you’d like help setting up your own holiday rhythm — or ADHD-friendly routines for the break — I coach on Tuesdays and Fridays. Book a chat here