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How to Set Healthy Boundaries for Screen Use in Your Family - A Positive Parenting Perspective

Updated: Jun 17

As I said in a recent newsletter, I went looking for some of my blog posts on screens, only to find I hadn't written any, which is quite the surprise, given how much of our family meetings seem to get taken up with discussing screen use, in one way or another. So here I am to try and rectify that, at least a little.

In today's digital age, navigating the world of screens has become an integral part of family life (we recently counted: there are about 15 devices in our home, depending on what you do and don't count!) While technology offers countless opportunities for learning and entertainment, it's essential for you as parents to establish healthy boundaries to ensure a balanced and connected family dynamic. As a positive parenting coach, I'm here to guide you through the process of setting up positive and constructive screen time limits for your family. Needs are going to be very different, depending on the age of your children, so there'll be some future blog posts especially aimed at different ages. This is just an overview..


Screens are neither good nor bad, in themselves - it's the use that your family makes of them that counts


family gathered around a computer screen

I encourage families to view technology as a valuable tool rather than a mere distraction. Screens offer endless possibilities for learning, creativity, and connection, but finding the right balance is key. When approached with some prior thought, screens can enhance our lives and provide enriching educational experiences. The trick is to nurture a healthy relationship with technology, guiding our children to make thoughtful choices and creating an environment where screen time complements, rather than competes with, the warmth of family life. By ditching the notion of screens being inherently positive or negative, we empower ourselves to embrace the benefits of technology while fostering a close-knit and harmonious family environment. So start by considering how each member of the family currently uses technology (homework, research, work, educational learning, relaxing, connection, gaming, etc) and decide which ones you want to prioritise. If, like us, you're an expat family, then technology is a wonderful tool for maintaining contact with family, for example. Once you have a list, next steps? :


Open Communication:

Start by fostering an open dialogue with your children about the importance of balance in their lives. Explain the benefits of technology while emphasizing the need for diverse activities such as outdoor play, family time, and personal hobbies. Encourage them to share their thoughts and concerns about screen time.

Co-Create Guidelines:

Involve your children in the process of establishing screen time guidelines. Collaboratively set reasonable limits based on their age, school workload, and extracurricular activities. This approach helps them feel a sense of ownership and responsibility for their screen time choices.

Model Healthy Behaviour:

Children learn by observing, so it's crucial to model the behaviour you wish to instil. Demonstrate a healthy relationship with screens in your family by being mindful of your own use of technology. When you prioritize face-to-face interactions and engage in tech-free activities, your children are more likely to follow suit.

two telephones charging

Designate Tech-Free Zones and Times:

Create specific areas and times in your home that are designated as tech-free zones. This could include the dining table during meals, bedrooms before bedtime, or specific family activities. Also, create a specific zone/shelf/basket for phones to be charged at night. By establishing these boundaries, you create opportunities for quality family time and foster a sense of presence.

Educate on Online Safety:

Empower your children with knowledge about online safety and responsible digital citizenship. Discuss the potential risks and benefits of online activities and guide them on how to make informed decisions. This knowledge equips them to navigate the digital world responsibly.


family engaged in a gardening project

Encourage Outdoor Play and Hobbies:

Balance is key to a healthy lifestyle. Encourage your children to explore outdoor activities and pursue hobbies that do not involve screens. Whether it's sports, arts and crafts, or reading, these activities contribute to their overall development and well-being. Develop some activities you can do together as a family.



Establish Screen-Free Wind-Down Rituals:

Help your family unwind before bedtime by establishing screen-free wind-down rituals. This could involve reading a book together, sharing stories about your day, or practicing relaxation techniques. Creating a calming atmosphere promotes better sleep and family bonding.

Regularly Evaluate and Adjust:

As your children grow and their needs change, it's important to regularly reassess and adjust your screen time guidelines. Involve them in this process, taking into account their evolving responsibilities and interests.


In Conclusion:

Setting healthy screen time boundaries is a dynamic and evolving process that requires collaboration, understanding, and flexibility. By adopting a positive parenting approach, you not only guide your children in making responsible choices but also strengthen the bonds that make your family unique. Embrace technology as a tool for connection, learning, and growth while cherishing the precious moments of offline togetherness. Coming up next - screens and under 4s!

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